5 Non-orgasm Rewards of Sex
Orgasms are a great reason to have sex, but they aren’t the only reason. There are non-orgasmic benefits of sex that support your emotional and physical health. So, here are 5 non-orgasms rewards of sex:
Improved bedroom communication
Sex with a partner involves lots of communication during a vulnerable exchange. It can sometimes be awkward or make us feel shy, and for other people it can be empowering and exciting to communicate during sex. The verbal and non-verbal communication we practice during sex can help us get a better sense of our boundaries, our communication challenges, and explore how it feels to be heard and seen and allow us to practice empathy with our erotic partners.
Getting playful
Sex is an opportunity to get physically playful and to engage our erotic imaginations. Sex can be another way for our creative energy to express itself and for our bodies to return to a sense of playfulness. You can practice kink without engaging in sex. For example: you might exploring spanking, or blindfolds, or wax play candles, and keep the focus on the sensation instead of the pursuit of orgasm. Exploring roleplaying or fantasies can build erotic creativity and bedroom confidence, too.
Better body image
While sex can often provoke insecurities about our bodies, it can also be an affirming experience for our relationship to our bodies. Sex allows us to explore our bodies in a unique way and setting. Exploring means that we learn about what’s ‘normal’ for our bodies, how long and how intense our arousal gets and what takes us out of our pleasure, or what brings about pleasure.
By getting curious about under-serviced hot spots like ears, backs, and necks, or trying different sensations with vibrators and butt plugs, you open up new ways to relate to your body. This can take the pressure off of performing a certain way or holding yourself to porn performer standards. Getting to enjoy how your body feels during sex can help you tap into feeling more satisfied during sex.
Reduced stress levels and a better mood
Sex can be a stress relief activity because solo pleasure stimulates feel-good chemicals in the body, like endorphins. Orgasms, whether through solo sex or partnered sex, stimulate the release of mood-boosting hormones, like dopamine and oxytocin, into the body. You experience a pleasure high from the natural chemicals flooding your body. The experience of pleasure, even without orgasm, can also trigger these chemicals into our body and benefit our mood and stress levels. Connecting intimately with your partner through things like touch, eye contact and scent can build feelings of bonding, connection and closeness. Try massage candles for a very relaxing sensual massage.
Better sleep
Whether you are having sex with yourself or someone else, you might get better quality sleep from sex. Pleasure relaxes the body, calms the nervous system, relieves tension, and gets you out of your head and into your body. Some people experience a better quality of sleep or an easier time falling asleep.
Discovering other rewards of sex other than orgasm can help you have sex that isn’t orgasm-focused. Focusing on an orgasm can sometimes set you up to fail because the pursuit might make you miss out on all the other amazing rewards of sex and make you feel stressed about reaching orgasm. Sink into the rewards of pleasure during masturbation or partnered sex and get curious about what other non-orgasm rewards of sex might be open to you!
Written for GFH by Luna Matatas