Written for GFH by Luna Matatas

At first glance, it might appear that a handjob is just about moving your hand up and down on a penis. Simple, right? What if you could amplify the pleasure of handjobs for the giver and receiver? What if you can spice things up and diversify your handjob techniques? What if you used sex toys and lubes to deepen sensations for the penis? 

Porn often shows us very aggressive penis stroking with a focus on orgasm. Not all penises like this type of touch and not all penises orgasm from hand stimulation. Think of handjobs as giving pleasure to the penis. The pleasure can be a build up leading to other sexy activities or it can be about giving sensations of relaxation, intimacy, and playfulness, or it can be a part of other penis pleasure, like hand and mouth combos. 

Handjobs don’t have to be boring, repetitive, or lacklustre. here are 8 tips for hotter handjobs:

Use lube.

Spit can be super sexy, but it's not lube. Spit dries up pretty quickly and robs you of the slippery texture that makes stroking feel so good. Use a water-based, oil (not compatible with latex condoms), or silicone lube and be generous with it. Lube creates a texture that gives smoother strokes, reduces friction, and enhances sensation. 

Whether someone is circumcised or uncircumcised, lube is always important! For uncircumcized penises, you can massage lube into the outer part of the foreskin and allow it to dribble into the inside part by lubing up the head of the penis.

Explore different positions.

Find a position that’s comfortable because you’re more likely to focus on giving and receiving pleasure if you aren’t putting a strain on a part of your own body. Some people like to lie next to their partner, head to head and toe to toe, for maximum skin contact and reach their hand downwards.  Others like to be in a position where they get to be seen and can delight their partner with the visual of watching them give a handjob. Mix up positions to see what’s most comfortable for you and your partner. Here are a few to try:

• Standing with them bracing against a wall or you behind them reaching around
• Explore them sitting with you kneeling and play with eye contact from this angle
• Get curious about what you can do with them lying down - straddle their leg and grind yourself against them or sit on their face and stroke without them being able to see what’s going on

Use sex toys for penises.

There are lots of sex toys for penis pleasure that you can use during a handjob to change up sensations, here are a few to try: 

• Masturbation sleeves—like Tenga Eggs 
• Cock rings—vibrating or non-vibrating (check out our blog post on how to choose and use cock rings)
• Butt plugs—using butt plugs or prostate massagers during handjobs can add a sense of fullness and possibly p-spot stimulation. 
• Vibrators—try them on perineums, testicles and the rim of the head of the penis

Change up your techniques.

All penises can experience different pleasure from techniques—so it’s important to check in with the person receiving the handjob to get a sense of what’s working and what’s not. Ask simple questions like softer or harder or faster or slower? Pay attention to changes in breath, moans, and other body communication that can help you learn your partner’s pleasure responses. Here are three techniques you can try:

• Fist and Twist. Wrap your index finger and thumb around the base of the penis with a little bit of pressure as if you’re holding it in place. If the penis is uncircumcized, you can use this grip to gently retract the foreskin to expose the head of the penis. Use your well-lubed up other hand, create a fist and while holding the penis still, guide your fist over the head of the penis towards your other hand and back up in a stroking motion allowing the head of the penis to ‘push through’ the bottom of your fist.
• Half Swirl. Grasp the penis just underneath the rim of the head with your well-lubed hand and use your hand to create a half-swirl motion as you go downwards or upwards on the penis. 
• Cock Massage. Use both hands, well-lubed, and experiment with slow strokes along the shaft of the penis that you can vary with pressure. Try using your thumbs to massage the frenulum (located on the underside of the penis below the head). 

Handjobs for circumsized vs uncircumsized.

Uncircumcized penises still have their foreskin intact. Depending on the person, foreskin retraction can vary—some people will enjoy having their foreskin used as part of the handjob to add a layer of texture, warmth and wetness. Other people might have a tighter foreskin and it could be painful to try to retract their foreskin intentionally during a handjob. Ask the person with the penis what they prefer or get them to do a show and tell so you can see how they masturbate.

Excite nearby erogenous zones.

The penis doesn’t have to be the only part of the body you engage during a handjob. If your partner is open to you exploring these areas, you can multitask stroking their penis and touching other areas, or you can tease them by alternating your attention between other surrounding erogenous zones to create more full body arousal.  Explore and excite the perineum, anus, inner thighs, pubic mound, butt cheeks, and/or testicles—ask your partner and get feedback as you go along. Sometimes too much stimulation can be distracting from the pleasure of the handjob.

Soft penises like handjobs too.

Whether your partner has an erection or not, a handjob is still possible. With un-erect penises, you can provide sensations that are different from handjobs on erect penises. Un-erect/partially erect penises tend to not be as sensitive, there is less blood flow so sensation is reduced. Which means, you can do things to un-erect penises that might be too rough, hard or uncomfortable for an erect penis. 

Tap into the pleasure as a giver.

While you might not be the one receiving direct stimulation, the more pleasure you are having the more you’re able to give. Get off on your partner’s display of pleasure, the changes in their breathing, the way they grind their hips or spread their legs, the moans or dirty talk that you hear, and even making eye contact while giving a handjob can connect you to more pleasure. 

Try using a sex toy on yourself while you’re giving a handjob—butt plugs, wearable vibrators, and nipple clamps are all great ways to give your hot spots some sensation while you’re pleasuring a penis. Enthusiasm is a really hot thing to give during a handjob—it can help the receiver relax into sensations and trust that you actually want to be giving them pleasure.

Put the focus on pleasure, not orgasm. Sometimes we can get focused on getting to the goal, and we miss the opportunities to notice our partner, to ride their waves of pleasure and to find our own pleasure in giving. Slow things down, encourage communication and show your enthusiasm.