Getting to Know the Prostate (or P Spot)
You might have heard of the prostate referred to as the P-spot or the ‘male G-spot’ or maybe you’ve heard of ‘prostate milking’ — a massage for the prostate. As a pleasure spot for penis owners, the prostate can be stimulated externally or internally using manual stimulation with fingers or sex toys designed for prostate pleasure.
What is a prostate?
The prostate is a gland located between the base of the penis and the bladder. Its main function is to produce fluid for semen. It’s located approximately 2-4 inches inside of the anus and can feel a little bit like a marble or a walnut compared to the softer tissue of the rest of the anus.
The prostate has many nerve endings that some people find pleasurable and even orgasmic through stimulation, like massage or vibration. The prostate can be stimulated externally for a milder sensation through the perineum (the area between testicles and the anus) or internally through the anus up towards the front of the body (towards the belly button).
Getting started with prostate pleasure might feel intimidating because it’s new or you’ve had previous painful experiences with anal sex, but there are strategies to help!
Here are 5 Tips for Prostate Pleasure
Hygiene and Prep
It’s a butt, so you might be worried about poop. Extra prep for anal play like douching isn’t mandatory — you get to decide what hygiene you (and your partner) are comfortable with. Here are some ways you might prep for prostate play:
- Prep your space - put down a dark towel, have another towel nearby for toys or used condoms and gloves
- Prep your body - if you're using fingers, you might consider using disposable latex or nitrile gloves
- Prep your butt - have a shower after your last bowel movement, or for a deeper clean, use an enema bulb with warm water only
- Get the body aroused with other kinds of pleasure you enjoy
- Seduce the butt - start to play with the butthole using lube and relax into the anal pleasure zone before penetration
Practice anal training
If you’re unfamiliar with anal play, take some time to explore what anal pleasure feels like in your body. Despite what you might have watched in porn, the anal anatomy doesn’t always automatically respond to bigger, harder, faster. Whether you’re the giver or the receiver of anal pleasure, some booty pleasure skills are needed. Start slow, use small, beginner friendly butt plugs or an anal dilation toy like the Odile, to help get the butthole used to receiving penetration.
For receivers, your goal is to slowly get the anus adjusted to penetration. Using good quality and long lasting lube, butt plugs and patience, you can train the rectal muscles to relax and enjoy anal penetration.
Great beginner butt plugs:
- Fuze Pleasure Plug 1
- B-vibe Novice Remote Vibrating Plug
- Renegade Silicone P-spot Kit (3 different sizes of curved butt plugs)
Prostate massagers are sex toys that are ergonomically shaped to make finding and stimulating the prostate easier. They are usually firmer toys and can be vibrating or not. Most prostate massagers are best used with rocking motions or hands-free by contracting your muscles to squeeze the toy.
Here are some prostate massagers to explore:
- Adam’s Rechargeable Vibrating Prostate Probe
- Lelo Loki Wave Vibrating Prostate Stimulator
- We-Vibe Vector Prostate Plug
- Aneros Eupho Syn Trident
- Aneros Vice 2 Vibrating Prostate Plug (with remote)
- Njoy Pure Wand
Strap-on play and pegging can stimulate the prostate, especially if you’re shallow thrusting with a dildo that is firm and has a curved head. Strap-on play can sometimes provide a big stimulation to the erotic imagination too.
Try strap-on play where the receiver is in control of the depth and speed of thrusting. Positions like being on top or doggy style can allow the receiver to push backwards or move up and down to find the right angles and intensity for the prostate.
Keep communication open if playing with a partner. Go slow, check-in, and provide feedback on what types of pleasure feel good. If you are a giver of prostate pleasure consider communication like:
- Harder or softer?
- Slower or faster?
- Does this feel good…or do you like this better?
- I’ll hold my fingers/toy in you and you can show me what depth and speed you like
- More lube?
For receivers of prostate pleasure, communication is important too. Honour your body’s communication. Your body might communicate with you through sharp pain, burning sensations or strong discomfort. Using numbing creams or ignoring these signs could increase your risk of anal injuries like fissures. Let your partner know what is happening in your body so they can adjust or you can take a break. Read more tips for prostate pleasure communication here.
Trying to explore a new erogenous zone can be super exciting but there can be pressure to get to a certain goal, like prostate milking. You can also have fun, get connected, practice skill and explore a new erogenous zone without any expectation other than curiosity. It can take time to sink into the new sensations because they might be different from penis pleasure, so give your body a chance to explore at a comfortable pace.