Written for GFH by Luna Matatas

If you’re planning on getting your group sex on this summer, you might be looking for a threesome or moresome! From swinging, to sex clubs, to threesomes, to same room sex, to gangbangs, orgies and more—group sex comes in many different forms and fantasies. Figuring out what turns you on about group sex can help you find like-minded people to take your fantasy into reality. 

What’s your group sex fantasy?

Taking your group sex fantasy into reality means you have to hone in on what’s hot for you in this fantasy. Is it being the center of attention? Is it about sharing another person? 

Explore your group sex fantasy by asking yourself questions like:

• Who is in the fantasy? What do they look like? What are their attitudes or vibes like?
• Who is doing what to whom?
• What things are turning you on to watch or experience?
• What would turn you off?

What pleasure are you bringing to the group?

Sometimes when we think about our fantasies about group sex, it’s easy to forget that other people in the group have different needs. These needs might align with our desires or the might be different. 

Keep the ‘group’ in group sex with these suggestions:

• Think about what skills you’re bringing to the group: are you great at oral? Massages? Dirty talk? 
• Discuss everyone’s desires beforehand: what is each person most excited about
• Discuss everyone’s emotional and physical safety needs beforehand 
• Warm up to intense pleasure by sexting, sensual touch, dirty talk
• Use sex toys: double ended-dildos are great for connecting two holes. Remote or app-controlled sex toys like butt plugs and couples vibrators are great for handing over control to another person. Wand style vibrators are awesome for using between bodies during intercourse

Do you feel comfortable communicating?

Group sex brings more bodies—and more emotions and desires. Non-verbal and verbal communication is important to make sure everyone is on the same page through the group sex experience. What will happen if someone is jealous? Loses an erection? Orgasms and wants to leave? Think about what communication needs to happen about issues like:

• Safer sex: what condoms, dental dams, or gloves will be used and between who?
• Boundaries: are there words, activities, or body parts that have boundaries the group needs to be aware of?
• Expectations: what does everyone expect from this experience? What happens after the group sex is over?

Where are you looking for group sex?

Here are some places people search for group sex:

• Dating apps
• Swingers’ websites
• Sex clubs and bath houses
• Friend group
• Sex parties

Depending on your group sex fantasy, different types of approaches might work. For example, if you’re a couple looking for a couple, then swingers communities are best. If you’re a couple looking for a longer-term threesome situation, OkCupid might produce more opportunities. One-night stands or hook-ups are more likely at bath house and sex clubs. 

If you’re venturing out into threeomses and orgies, be sure you carry some gloves, condoms, and good quality lube. Packing up some sex toys like cock rings, vibrators and bondage tape can’t hurt either!