What's hot about these 5 BDSM Sex Toys?
Written for GFH by Luna Matatas
Feeling kinky? Maybe you’re looking to spice things up in the bedroom. Maybe you’re intrigued by roleplay, restraints, and erotic power exchange. Whatever your sexy intentions are, BDSM sex toys are a fun way to explore using your erotic imagination to deepen sexual experiences. BDSM is a skill: do a little research, take a class, and approach using toys as one part of your erotic exploration. Consent, communication, and confidence are requirements, too.
Here are 5 BDSM Sex Toys explained:
Blindfolds
Blindfolds take away the ability to take in the visual parts of sex. By toning down one sense, you can heighten others. By taking away one sense, your others will compensate, and help you connect with your environment. Blindfolds can help if you're trying something new in the bedroom and you feel shy about your partner watching you while you try to tie them up or look at you while you attempt dirty talk.
Blindfolds are awesome to use when engaging in sensation play. too—trying out different textures (like feathers) and temperatures—think ice cubes or warm massage oil) on someone. To sink into this sensation, the receiver will need to feel safe and trust the experience. Build trust by using blindfolds that black out vision but are easy to remove, having a safe word or non-verbal way to easily communicate if things stop feeling safe and sexy, and discuss before-hand what things are invited when the person is blindfolded and what things are off the table.
Ball gags
Ball gags are usually rubber or silicone balls attached to a strap that goes into the mouth and behind the teeth. The aesthetic of ball gags can be sexy and some people use ball gags as an expression of dominance and submission—controlling or possessing someone's mouth.
Beforehand, set a time limit for how long the gag will be on—say. 20-30 mins for beginners—and decide on a non-verbal safe system. For example: the receiver could squeak a toy or show three fingers when they've had enough. Drooling is going to happen—and this can be a turn on for some people and other people could start to feel insecure, so have a talk about this before and debrief the experience afterwards. Consider the size and material when buying a ball gag.
The ball gag should be made from body-safe materials such as silicone—stay away from home-made ball gags. The size should be comfortable for the wearer's mouth for a prolonged period of time, and not stretch the jaw to the point of discomfort. When fastening the strap around the wearer's head, make sure you're able to fit two fingers underneath the strap and keep safety scissors nearby just in case.
Riding Crops
Crops are spicy implements of impact play. They allow you to get really precise with your hitting—which is great for creating stingy sensations and for targeting smaller areas like your partner's nipples or genitals. Crops can also be made of many materials, but are usually made of vinyl or leather.
Warming the area through intentional pacing and precision hitting is an important part of safety for impact play. Create blood flow and arousal in the area being spanked by warming the area up through lighter impact first. The person doing the hitting should practice with the crop first to develop precision; for example, practice by getting really good at hitting the same spot on a pillow consistently. And try out the crop on fleshy areas of your own body to experience the warming sensations as intensity increases. Use props, like pillows, furniture or sex cushions, to support the receiver’s body while they are in position. And don't forget to clean your crops in between uses and provide any aftercare the receiving body might need—cuddles, ice packs, or massages.
Bondage Cuffs
Bondage is sexy because it can be both a physically arousing experience and a stimulating experience for your erotic imagination. You might opt for bondage cuffs because you want bondage without the intricate knowledge of rope bondage. Or possibly you don't like how ropes feel. You might use bondage cuffs because they add a particular mood or aesthetic to your sexy scene, too. Bondage cuffs can be also safer than handcuffs depending on what you’re doing, because their material tends to be more flexible, which allows for more movement and reduces risk of nerve damage.
Bondage cuffs are usually designed for ankle and wrist restraints and come in different materials, like leather, silicone, rubber, and nylon. Padded bondage cuffs add extra comfort for the wearer. Some styles of bondage cuffs have a lock and key restraint system, while others have buckles or velcro restraints. Others allow you to easily hitch the bound person to anchors like a bed, door, or chair. When you’re using bondage cuffs communication is important before, during, and after your sexy time. Never leave a bound person alone without their consent or knowledge of it, agree on a safe system (e.g. safe words) ahead of time, and do not suspend someone using bondage cuffs unless they are designed specifically for that activity.
Erotic Wax Candles
Erotic wax play is a type of sensation play. It can be about temperature play or erotic power exchange, as well as sadomasochism. For safety, it's important that you use candles designed specifically for erotic wax play, because they burn at a lower heat than household candles—using regular candles could risk injury of burns to the skin. If you’re feeling cautious, start with a massage candle that melts down to a liquid massage oil and re-solidifies when cooled.
Erotic wax candles can be an exciting way to play with intense sensations—which can help some people get out of their head and into the moment. Wax play candles come in different colours for people who are aroused by the art of wax on the body. You can pair wax play with blindfolds and gags for an extra sensory-heightened experience. Get started with wax play by holding the lit candle farther away from the body and allowing the first drips to hit on fleshy areas like thighs or arms. Gauge how the body reacts. Increase or decrease sensation by adjusting the distance wax drips from the candle to the body. Be sure to put down a towel to save your sheets from wax!
BDSM accessories are a great way to get into the characters, roles, and moods you want to play with. Be open, and communicative, and take your time as you learn new techniques with each BDSM toy you bring into the bedroom, and with practice your confidence and erotic creativity will follow!
