5 Tips for Hotter Hand Sex
Written for GFH by Luna Matatas
Think of your hands as sex toys you always have on you! Whether it’s handjobs or fingering, hand sex can amplify pleasure for both giver and receiver.
Here are 5 Ways to Have Hotter Hand Sex:
Many people enjoy fingering because fingers can be intentional about direction and speed, they allow you to get feedback through touch, and they can help warm up anuses and vaginas for bigger penetration. Try these fingering tips:
- Use lube and re-apply lube if you’ve been fingering for a while
- Try crossing one finger over the other inside of the anus of vagina and twisting slowly
- Deeper isn’t always better, explore 1- 2 inches inside the anus or vagina and feel out the prostate (P-spots) and G-spots by curving fingers towards the front of the body
For some people, fingers don’t feel dense enough and may not give the pleasurable feeling of a sense of fullness. If fingers don’t give you want you want, try out sex toys and butt plugs that have curves or textures on them, like the Maia Riley Silcone Suction Cup Dildo and the Gläs 8" Ribbed G-spot Glass Dildo.
Handjobs can be a quickie sex act or they can be a longer sexual activity, like a cock massage. Handjobs can involve stroking the penis, massaging testicles, or using sex toys like penis sleeves or FTM strokers. Some people orgasm from handjobs and some people don’t. Keep your hand jobs hot by:
- Communicating: ask the penis owner if they want it harder or softer? Faster or slower?
- Experimenting: explore different directions, speeds, and pressures
- Use lube for circumcised and uncircumcised penises
- Combine hand and mouth sensations to intensify pleasure
- Explore edging: bring them close to orgasm and then take the stimulation down a little bit to keep them hovering just before orgasm. Keep repeating to build up tease, anticipation and intensity in the body.
Using sex toys on other people’s bodies
Sex toys can be an extension of our bodies abilities to give pleasure. You can provide different vibrations, sizes, and shapes for your partner. Sex toys can also help extend the life of penetration beyond erections. Using sex toys with a partner can be a playful way to bring new sensations into the bedroom. Here are some ideas for sex toys to use with your hands:
- Finger vibes: finger vibrators slip onto your finger and allow you to get into smaller and more specific hot spots
- Penis Strokers and Vibrators: penis strokers add texture and mild suction to handjobs, try the Tenga Air-Tech Reusable Penis Sleeve. The Fun Factor Manta Stroker Vibrator can be held between bodies during intercourse or used at the same time as a blow job
- Wand style vibrators like the le wand petite rechargeable massager, are great for all bodies that enjoy a powerful vibrator. Wand style vibrators are for external use only and can be used against butt plugs, on clitorises, along the underside of the penis, on nipples and even on backs and necks to relax the body.
- Pumps: pumps help encourage blood flow to penises, vulvas, and nipples. The New York Toy Collective Trans Masc Pump was specifically designed with queer, trans masculine and non-binary bodies in mind.
- Massage roller gloves
Try using a blindfold or restraints to add a level of erotic power exchange (dominance and submission) while using the sex toy together.
Wetter is better
Create wetness with lubricants and massage oils. Smooth and wet textures help prevent chafing, micro-tearing and irritation of external and internal tissue. Try:
- Massage oils
- Cannabis massage oils: learn more about weed and sex here.
- Lube: silicone lubes like Uber Lube give a silky, long-lasting texture to hand stimulation. Great for cock or vulva massages.
- Warming or cooling lubes
If you’re putting your fingers inside of someone’s vagina or anus, be mindful of fingernails and jewelry. Fingernails can bring bacteria into the vagina or anus, and can potentially scratch or injure vaginal or rectal tissue. Use disposable gloves to reduce the risks and to make clean up easy.