How to Ask for Pegging or Prostate Massage in a New Relationship
Do you like pegging or prostate massages, but feel shy to ask your partner? You’re not alone. Pegging and prostate pleasure sometimes carry stigma from homophobia and anal sex. Pegging and prostate pleasure engage the erogenous areas in and around the anus. Engaging in pleasure you enjoy is empowering! Here’s how to confidently ask for pegging or prostate massage in a new relationship.
Explore your own shame or insecurity about pegging or prostate play
What are you nervous about? Are you concerned about potential mess, pain, or discomfort? Do you worry how your partner might perceive you? Do you have thoughts about what pegging or prostate play says about your identity or gender expression?
Getting honest with yourself about any insecurities can help you become more self-aware about your desires and any shame. This will be valuable when communicating with your partner, whether you choose to share what you’re nervous about or not.
Think about what turns you on about pegging or prostate play
Fantasies are usually not solely about sexual activity. There is a story or a mood that is created by your specific fantasy. Think about how you want to feel during pegging or prostate play. Do you have fantasies of dominance and submission? Do you like the idea of being the receiver and being penetrated?
Be able to talk about your fantasy beyond the sexual activity. Tell your partner what makes you curious about it, why it turns you on, and what experience you have with it.
Ask your partner if they’d be open to talking about sexual fantasies and desires
It’s ok to be direct and say, “I have a sexy fantasy that turns me on, would you like to hear about it sometime?” You can try communicating over text, during a non-sexy time, or a relaxing time.
Having a date night to do sex toy shopping in person or online can be a fun activity to get you both talking about prostate sex toys, dildos, and harnesses.
Talk about your fantasies without expectation
While your goal might be to get your partner interested in pegging you or playing with your prostate, talking about your fantasy is also an opportunity to learn about your partner’s likes and dislikes. You might discover another way to turn each other on with or without butt stuff.
Play with your own butt first
You can feel more confident in knowing your own body and anal pleasure if you explore your own body first. Grab some lube, a beginner butt plug, or small prostate massager, and beginner butt sex tips, and start exploring anal pleasure. Knowing your own body and being able to give feedback to your partner can help them feel more confident too.
Do some learning about pegging and prostate massage together
Learn about pegging 101 skills and prostate pleasure. Research harnesses for strap-on sex with your partner. Learn about anal training and butt plugs.
New sexy activities are a skill, which means they can take time to feel super sexy because you might be in your head about technique. Getting information can help you anticipate challenges, navigate shame and share in the preparation together.
Have fun and be playful
Enjoy the rewards of sexual exploration! Feel more relaxed, more playful, more curious, and less performance-focused. Exploring a new sexual activity together can not only be fun, but it can deepen intimacy, and build excitement between a couple.
Written for GFH by Luna Matatas
