Getting Back Into Sex Post-Pandemic

Our minds and bodies have experienced so much during the pandemic, so it’s reasonable to expect some tenderness as we step back into our sexual selves in new ways this season. 

The pandemic might have made you feel:

• Hornier.
• Lonely.
• Craving specific kinds of connection like hugs and touch.
• Stressed in your relationship.
• Stressed from being single.
• Excited to try new things.
• Bored with the same old things.
• Disconnected or frustrated with your body.

Whatever you experienced in your body during the past year, there are things you can do to reconnect with your sex life and dating life:

Reconnect to your body

Our relationship to our bodies is complicated. If you’re feeling uncomfortable in your body, that’s okay. We get a lot of messaging from society that tells us that the way we look is the most important thing about us. Get back into how your body feels with mindful sex practices, solo pleasure, and sensual sex. 

Get playful in and out of the bedroom

Finding ways to have fun can help you feel less stressed and also stir up your creative energy. Playfulness can involve things like trying a new activity like colouring or having a solo dance party. In the bedroom, playfulness can be about trying out an erotic roleplay, wearing sexy costumes, or exploring BDSM. Try these ideas to get more pleasure and less shame in the bedroom. 

Refresh your bedroom space

If you live with your partner or you’re planning on hosting dates, refreshing your bedroom can be a shift in your emotional connection to the space. It can be as simple as new sheets, massage candles, massage oil, sex cushion, or a sex blanket. Getting your room sex ready can also help you sink into solo pleasure. 

Try something new without expectation

Our brains have been aching for new stimulation throughout the pandemic. Feed your erotic imagination with something new:

• Consider taking a sex workshop.
• Trying a new dating app.
• Group sex.

It’s easy to fall into the pressure of expecting heightened pleasure from your new exploration—but give it a chance. It can take time to explore something, observe ourselves in it, and figure out if it’s right for you or not. Let go of expectation and focus on how you feel while you’re exploring erotically. 

Communicate with your partner or new partners

Re-entering the dating world or navigating an existing relationship can inspire self-reflection and intimate communication. Check in with your partner and check in with yourself. If you or your partners lives with mental illness, like depression, sex can change and may require different ways of accepting and adapting in your relationship. If you’re going back out into the dating world and you’re nervous about meeting new people, make a list of conditions that need to be met for your emotional and physical safety. 

Be patient, be kind to yourself and others, be open, and have fun!

Written for GFH by Luna Matatas