Exploring Kinky Solo Sex
Kink is about our erotic imagination, sensations, roleplay, and intimacy. It can be sexual or not and it can be done partnered or solo. You might be exploring kink on your own for many different reasons.
Whatever the reason, exploring kink solo has benefits for you and your partners. It’s a great idea to explore your fantasy on your own to help you understand the nuances and depths of your kinks.
Here are some ways to explore kinky solo sex:
- Chastity - fantasies of chastity often involve cock cages or chastity belts, with someone else having control of access to your genitals. It may or may not include orgasm control as well. Some people are turned on by the aspect of being denied, feeling helpless, or feeling possessed/owned. You can evoke feelings from these fantasies through self-chastity (e.g. penis cages) and self-denial (e.g. edging).
- Self-bondage - bondage is a sensation rich activity that you can do on your own using wrist cuffs and ankle restraints or with rope bondage. Try restraining one part of your body, like your ankles tied to the bed and masturbate. Exploring rope on your own body is a great way to get familiar with tension and tethering. For some people, self-bondage is cathartic, relaxing and an outlet of creativity. More rope bondage tips here.
- Fantasy - explore your kinky fantasy by masturbating to it, writing or reading erotica about it. Get to know your desires and build a Kinky Bucket List.
- Discipline - if you have fantasies of sexual or non-sexual service, punishment and reward and protocol training, you might try enforcing tasks on yourself. Come up with the tasks you’d like someone to assign to you and imagine that you are under their control. Maybe they want you to wear a butt plug while you brush your teeth or go without underwear when you leave the house or put on a collar while you cook. Get to know your erotic submission and what it likes.
- Fetish wear - Wear something that inspires you.
- Try sensation techniques on yourself. Lots of kinks involve sensations on the body using kinky tools. Check out these 5 BDSM Toys. Some solo kink sensation play ideas: wax play with body safe candles; Wartenberg pinwheel; paddles; nipple clamps; feather tickler.
- Build your kink knowledge - take a class, join a discussion group, or read an instructional kink book.
- Practise kinky skills. If you are exploring dominance, it can be useful to try techniques on your own body that you want to do on submissives. Use solo kink to build the technical skills you need as a dominant by learning from experts, getting to know the safety and care of the kinky tools you’re interested in and practising technical skills like precision impact if you’re into spanking or flogging for example.
Doing kinky things solo can sometimes allow us to focus on techniques, sensations and feels — instead of performance. While it might be missing a particular energy that is part of your fantasy, like dominance or submission, solo kink can support a greater understanding of what your kink means for you.
This can help you sink into what you want to feel during a kinky exchange and tune into what you might want your partner to feel, say and act.
