Written for GFH by Luna Matatas

Having some downtime can be a great way to connect with your partner. Stress, schedules, and the general mess of life can make it hard to focus, celebrate, and sink into intimacy. Slowing things down, exploring other pleasure rewards of sex like relaxation and intimacy, and planning a sexy day together can be a great way to reconnect. With some extra time in your week, here are seven sexy ways to spend a day off.

Try out a new sex toy

Spice things up by trying out a new sex toy. Make it fun by choosing something for yourself that you want your partner to try on you, and have them do the same. Or make it a date day and book a 30 minute video shopping appointment, so you can have the support of expert knowledge from one of our staff in choosing the best sex toys for you.

If you’re a penis owner, there are lots of ways to use sex toys to pleasure penises. Beyond the penis, get curious about other erogenous zones like nipples and butts. Explore nipple suction toys or nipple clamps. Set the scene for this date with sex toys—adjust the lighting, throw down some sexy sheet or pillows and bring in music to set the mood. 

If you’re new to sex toys—try vibrators that can easily be used on anyone’s body, like wand style vibrators, curved G/P-spot vibrators, and check out smaller vibes that are great for smaller areas like nipples, testicles, and perineums. 

Sink into sensation play

Change up your sexy expectations and let go of orgasm as a goal. See if you can titillate other under-serviced erogenous zones on the body like necks, ears, backs, chests, feet, etc. 

Sensation play can involve playing with feather ticklers, temperature play (great for your glass or stainless steel sex toys), wax candle play, and even kinky tools like the pinwheel. To get started, warm up the body with massage, make out, talk dirty—whatever gets you both aroused. You can then take turns—choose a few sexy sensation toys for your partner to use on you and then lay back. Some people find it helpful to use a blindfold, so they can sink into the sensations without being distracted by the visual. The partner in control of the sensations can learn a lot about what spots are especially sensitive, how to warm up those areas, and how to play with speed, direction, and pressure. 

Mutual massages

Have a massage date! You can limit or start the massage with areas like hands, feet, or scalp—there are lots of nerve endings there that can relax your partner. You can simplify techniques by using a massage roller glove on larger areas like the back, thighs, calves, and forearms. Focus on taking your time and caring for and adoring each body part you’re massaging. 

Make it an oily or silky massage by using massage oil. Explore massage candles—their wax melts into a warm massage oil and re-solidifies once the candle has cooled. If you’re moving onto a genital massage, consider using a cannabis-infused massage oil to bring weed into your intimacy. 

Explore erotic stories

Erotic stories help stimulate our erotic imaginations in ways that porn doesn’t. It might feel awkward or silly at first—go with it! Sex doesn’t have to be so serious, so embrace the playfulness. Get comfortable, set up a plush and snuggly bed or couch, and grab some erotic stories. Take turns reading the stories while cuddling. Try out your dirty talk by animating the stories you’re reading into the voices of the characters. 

You can also listen to erotic audio or read an erotic book while masturbating to mix things up. 

Make oral sex creative

If extra time means extra oral sex to you—then amplify your oral pleasure with these ideas:

• Create tension: kiss and lick your partner everywhere BUT their genitals until their breath changes, their sounds change, and their body is overly eager for your mouth between their legs. 
• Add in some sex toys: sex toys for oral sex are a great way to keep the sensations you already like and pair them with vibrators, cock rings, and butt plugs. 
• Try out a lube with frills:  flavoured lube, warming lubes, and cannabis lubes are all going to give you a great texture for oral sex and fingering, while also spicing things up with new sensations. 

Try something kinky!

Kinky sex is all about your erotic imagination. It gives you a chance to get play with roleplay, pain and pleasure, sensation play, restraints and more. Spanking can be a really fun way to explore sensations, power exchange, and roleplay all at once. Try barehanded or grab a paddle. 

Get curious about kinky sex toys. Simply using a blindfold or restraints during oral sex can give you the feeling of heightened sensations and dominance and submission. Bondage tape is great for simple and safe gags, blindfolds, and wrist restraints. Kink can range from mild to wild, so don’t worry too much about it being perfect or performative. Pick one or two things to try and set the intention of playfulness with your partner. 

Mix up masturbation

Whether you’re partnered or single, changing up your masturbation can bring new pleasure. Try a new sex toy, position, or space, and get inspired with these 14 Ways to Mix Up Your Masturbation. 

If your partner needs encouragement to try something new, here are some tips. Letting go of orgasm as an expectation of sexy time can open you up to receiving other rewards of pleasure like fun, relaxation, and bonding. Having intentional sexy time scheduled into your day off can give you something to look forward to and a chance to relax and reconnect in an erotic way!