Are you worried about being ‘addicted’ to your vibrator?
The short answer is no, you can’t get addicted to your vibrator. There’s no evidence for this. For some people, repeatedly using the same type of sex toy stimulation to the internal (vagina) or external parts of the clitoris can create a pattern of pleasure that your body gets used to. It’s easy to default to the type of pleasure you know gets you off, so you also create a neural pathway that connects this type of stimulation with arousal that leads to orgasm. It's possible that some bodies can experience a temporary numbing sensation from using vibrators, but that shouldn’t last more than a day.
Where does the myth of vibrator addiction come from?
The myth about being addicted to your vibrator also has roots in social stimga about sex toys. Society teaches women and vulva-owners to be ashamed of experiencing pleasure. Some sexual partners might even feel threatened, or in competition with sex toys, so it’s easy to ‘blame’ the sex toy for their partner having trouble orgasming without a sex toy. There are lots of reasons why people might not orgasm with a partner including; performance anxiety, feeling pressured to orgasm from a specific act like penetration, body shame, not enough oral sex/fingering/deep kissing, and more. It’s perfectly ok to use sex toys with a partner during sex. Sex toys are co-operators in pleasure, not competition.
Changing up how you masturbate can be rewarding and frustration—it might take you longer to get to orgasm, you might be stuck in your head or you might feel like going back to your go-to sex toy. If you notice that you find it challenging to orgasm from sex without vibrators, try these tips:
Give yourself some time to create a build up of erotic energy for masturbation and discover other arousal possibilities. You can still enjoy pleasuring your body and touching yourself—don't be afraid to go manual and use your hands.
Try a different type of stimulation. If you’re using wand-style vibrators like the Magic Wand, maybe try using a clitoral stimulator or a dual-action vibrator, or a vibrator with different features like hands-free or thrusting.
If you tend to focus stimulation directly on the exposed part of the clitoris or you’re a relentless thruster, maybe try putting the vibrator in a different area on the vulva like on the sides of the clitoris, the spot between the urethra and the clitoris, the outer and inner labia, or the perineum. Experiment, and tune into what really feels good.
Edging is a technique that extends the pleasurable sensations that happen just before orgasm. To edge, you bring yourself close to orgasm and then slow or change the stimulation slightly to reduce the intensity, but stay hovering close to orgasm. Edging can help you learn your arousal escalation so you can play with pleasure at different intensities.
Add in more pleasure during masturbation with other erogenous zones on your body, like nipples, anuses, chests, stomachs, thighs, and more.
If you masturate at the same time, the same way, in the same position all the time, you might be in a masturbation rut. Try these tips for mixing up your masturbation.
Lube creates an optimal texture to help reduce friction during masturbation. Lube can help prevent rawness from rubbing your vibrator or hand on the vulva and it can improve sensitivity to sensation by minimizing friction.
Some people enjoy clitoral stimulating balms that increase sensation or cannabis arousal oils that can promote blood flow and sensitivity. Warming lubricants can also increase sensation.
Play with pleasure! Get curious about what it feels like to have your pleasure build or subside. Explore different crevices of the vulva with your vibrator. Own your pleasure—however you orgasm is ok and changing things up for fun or to explore is also great!
